go do what you do best...puke behind churches
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
