My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
