I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
