i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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