What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
