Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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