I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
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there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
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I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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