Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize