if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
