Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
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You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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