I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
