he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
