Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to

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(267): If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to http://tfl.nu/tvy7

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."

(817): View more from Texas

I was drunk but it's true

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(262): LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that." (817): I was drunk but it's true http://tfl.nu/5hb1

Replies (10) Good night (4035) Bad night (694)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.

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(952): he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting. http://tfl.nu/x0uv

Replies (6) Good night (5094) Bad night (807)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home

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(910): my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home http://tfl.nu/9si8

Replies (17) Good night (1008) Bad night (3895)
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party

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(508): the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party http://tfl.nu/wsii

Replies (30) Good night (6067) Bad night (1178)
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(763): View more from Minnesota

Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet

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(763): Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet http://tfl.nu/ppas

Replies (6) Good night (1060) Bad night (2455)
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(+61): View more from Australia

She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.

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(+61): She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING. http://tfl.nu/6o0j

Replies (17) Good night (1154) Bad night (2128)
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(303): View more from Colorado

How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?

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(303): How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads? http://tfl.nu/o7ne

Replies (10) Good night (1755) Bad night (640)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.

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(501): He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit. http://tfl.nu/208i

Replies (10) Good night (1657) Bad night (1184)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~

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(504): Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~ http://tfl.nu/nmyu

Replies (5) Good night (506) Bad night (712)
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(214): View more from Texas

You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night

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(214): You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night http://tfl.nu/tn8h

Replies (4) Good night (955) Bad night (450)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours

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(412): Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours http://tfl.nu/cgpa

Replies (0) Good night (681) Bad night (503)
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(229): View more from Georgia

I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist

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(229): I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist http://tfl.nu/lub5

Replies (0) Good night (586) Bad night (286)
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(530): View more from California

What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.

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(530): What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans. http://tfl.nu/ymat

Replies (0) Good night (313) Bad night (278)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.

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(414): I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves. http://tfl.nu/3pfn

Replies (0) Good night (278) Bad night (166)

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