My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.