he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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