Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Hawaiian shirts and no dignity

(1-908): View more from New Jersey

We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.

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(586): View more from Michigan

you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up

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(303): View more from Colorado

Say it nicely.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor

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(765): View more from Indiana

Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero

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(407): View more from Florida

We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.

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(310): View more from California

My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.

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