it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.