he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
