Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
