I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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