the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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