im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
