Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
