i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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