I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
