no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
