singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
