I feel great
I just peed on a car
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
All I want is dick and wine.
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