i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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