he wants to bone in the snuggie
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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