I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
