naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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