This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
