Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Im part way to drunk.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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