is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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