I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
