Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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