"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
