hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
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AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
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I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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