Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
