I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
