Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize