true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
