is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize