Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??