am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately