Dude, just got a bummer.
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
Cake is only good when you eat it
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.