Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?