Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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