Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
