How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
