I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
