Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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