Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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