Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
