I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I did not marry a roomba.
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