the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
