He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
