thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
