I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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