Well apparently he's into motor boating.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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