Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
