Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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