when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
