Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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