What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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