i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
