One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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